Weird people

I meet a lot of interesting people during my time at work. I've met everything from lesbian plumbers to native American indians dressed up as cowboys, which I thought was really weird. Given that my knowledge on native American indians extends as far as watching old John Wayne films, I took it to be that the cowboys killed the indians or vice versa. Surely an indian dressing in a cowboy hat, big silver buckle and cowboy boots would be the same as a Winston Churchill dressing up as Hitler. Still, I have met a lot of nice, fascinating people as well. I've had an in depth conversation with a Cambodian refugee who described what it was like to flee his village being guided by nothing but placing his hand on the shoulder of the person in front of him. He spoke of how he traded all his money in for gold so that it would still retain it's value later, and how when the rebels started capturing them in the jungles and stealing it all, they went from carrying in their pockets, to sewing it in to their clothes. But then that didn't work because the gangs started forcing them to strip and just took all their clothes. In the end they just swallowed the gold but even that didn't prevent the gangs from trying to take it all. They would force them at gun point to deficate in the jungle. As always in life, Newtons third law is continually proven... "for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction", except I tend to find that for every interesting person, there is at least five on the run escaped mental patients.

Today I had the good fortune to meet one of those people. Admittedly she was getting on in years but I have found that stupid knows no age limit. She seemed 'normal' at first until... the cat showed up. I'm not sure what it is about cats, but they seem to attract, or be attracted to, stupid people. People who own cats always seem to believe that the cats are real people and can understand English. Now hold on a minute, before you all start to shout at the monitor I don't mean basic single words. This is of course true to the belief of the stupid that the cat or other domesticated animal for that matter understands the language being spoken. What the animal is doing of course is relating to the noise you are making and linking it to what you do next. Search google for Pavlov's dog for more on this subject. As a side not, Joe Rogan described it best when he recalls times when he was 'high' and people were talking to him on the set of "Fear Factor". He said, "Isn't it crazy that talking is basically a form of telepathy. I mean I am thinking things in my head and making weird noises with my mouth and you know what I am going on about!". The same applies to cats. Getting back to the weird old lady, she took this Doolittle syndrome to the next level. Not only did she think that cat understood what she was saying but she went as far as to ask the cat questions! Seriously? Not only did she think that the cat could interpret her voice but was expecting the cat to answer her!!! I believe the question was, "Why haven't you eaten your breakfast?". Like the cat was going to stop, look up at her and meow, "I'm not really hungry, in fact I'm fed up of Whiskas, I feel like chips. And while you're at it, could you stop calling me Trixie, my name is Sharon".

Now I'm lucky enough not to just meet these weirdos at work and while we're talking about cats I have to share a recent situation I experienced, but I'm sure you all have seen this one. People treating cats, or pets in general, as people. This past New Years eve I met such a person. Someone who if you just met them you would have no negative opinion of them... until you mentioned cats. Then she would bore you to tears about how 'Simon', (and thats another freaky thing, giving a pet a person name! Pets are called Blacky, Shep, Rover, and Polly), how Simon did this really cute thing where he holds a carrot between his paws. And how he likes his milk served in a metal bowl not a plastic one, and how he will only eat the expensive cat food because it has more real meat in it, and how he likes to wake you up in the morning by placing his paws on your face... but get this, you can't move them because he is comfortable! Oh my freaking god! Get a life. It's a cat. It's a lower class species that has no purpose at all. And you are talking about it in the same regard as a small child? I'll tell you what, you put the crappy food out in a cheap plastic bowl and leave it there for a day or two and we'll see if he eats it then! Don't get me wrong on all of this, I love animals. I have two dogs and a whole bunch of fish, as well Nicholas has a pet hamster. But nothing would cause me to treat these animals like they were equivalent to Nicholas, no matter how clever at rolling over he was... the pet not Nicholas.